Dear Orson Scott Card,
I collect conspiracy theories. I’m something of a conspiracy theory enthusiast enthusiast. I’m not satisfied by small stuff: the 9/11 loose change or Obama’s faked birth certificate. No, I go for the gold. I’m well aware that fifth-dimensional reptiles secretly rule the planet. I know all about how immortal Jewish/Illuminati wizards control the world from their bunker at the center of the Earth. I’m up to speed on how all the blacks in South Africa will take free cab rides into the cities and kill all the whites when Nelson Mandela dies (because if they did it now it would make Mandela cry, I guess). I could tell the day it happened that the Sandy Hook shooting was a false flag operation staged by Obama in order to pass gun control legislation—I mean, it was so similar to the Dunblane Primary School shootings in Australia, it couldn’t have been a coincidence! But I never thought, Mr. Card, that I would find you, the Nebula and Hugo Award-winning author, swimming along with me at the deep end of the crazy pool. Strangely, you don’t seem to be doing it ironically.
Let me say first, I didn’t need to read your ridiculous column “Homosexual ‘Marriage’ and Civilization” to know you probably didn’t support gay marriage. I just assumed it because you are Mormon. After all, your church used millions in collection plate money to support California’s Prop 8 with insane, hateful TV commercials. Insane how? Well, in your column you wrote:
There is a myth that homosexuals are "born that way," and we are pounded with this idea so thoroughly that many people think that somebody, somewhere, must have proved it… The dark secret of homosexual society – the one that dares not speak its name – is how many homosexuals first entered into that world through a disturbing seduction or rape or molestation or abuse, and how many of them yearn to get out of the homosexual community and live normally.
Two things: 1) How do you know the dark secrets of homosexual society? They are secrets, after all—dark secrets—the toughest kind to spot. Yet you seem incredibly well informed. So self-assured too. I assume your statistical knowledge of the private lives of gays and lesbians must come from first hand experience, that you have sat around the living room with thousands of gays and lesbians as they confessed to you that they were gay because someone molested or raped them. How awkward for you—I would be so uncomfortable. A handful of friends have told me about painful experiences in their lives but only after we’d known each other for years, and even then it was tough, but you must have 5 or 6 strangers come up to you daily and confess things like this:
“My uncle touched my butt hole when I was seven and it was awful and traumatic and painful and I cry about it still even though I’m a grown man, but now I just can’t stop fucking dudes in reststop bathrooms. I mean, I hate it but what can I do? Homosexuals are like vampires—once you’re bit you become one of them. Will you help me find the Head Gay and put a stake through his dick so I can be free of its curse? By the way I loved Ender’s Game.”
How do you cope with the burden of trust gays and lesbians have put in you?
2) Read Biological Exuberance, a 700+ page book compiling scientific data about homosexuality, bisexuality, and transgenderism in mammals and birds. Come to find out, homosexuality etc exists in every species of mammal and bird at the same levels as the human population: about 10%. So it is not a myth—homosexuality is absolutely biological in origin. Gays and lesbians are born that way. (Unless of course, someone has been molesting the wildlife, or musk ox have been watching Will and Grace, or US submarines have been spreading gay propaganda to dolphins with sonar pings by order of President Obama!)
So with your column Civilization Watch you’ve been spreading lies about homosexuality, but it was just run-of-the-mill hatefulness. You outdid yourself when you cannonballed into the crazy pool with your May 2013 column “Unlikely Events.” Salon has taken it apart in an excellent article, but I’d like to point out how your idea of Obama raising a secret army of black teenagers to install him as El Presidente for life was plagiarized. That's right, Hugo and Nebula Award-winning author, I'm calling you a plagiarist. You thought no one would notice how you dipped into 20 years of right-wing militia literature and white racist paranoia and stole your latest plot. But I noticed.
You might have been too busy plagiarizing the Book of Mormon into your Homecoming novels, so let me re-cap the last 21 years: During the good-old-days of the 1990s when Bill Clinton was president, the right reacted very badly to losing the White House after 12 years of Republican control. There was little they could do about it except start grass-roots organizations to organize themselves politically, call their congressmen, lobby the many government agencies at federal, state, and local levels, participate in public debates, conduct journalistic investigations, file lawsuits, run for public office, and vote. But all of that seemed really hard and not much fun so instead they formed “militias” that went into the woods on the weekends, ran around dressed as soldiers, fired AR-15s, and traded notes from their dream journals.
While in the woods they dreamed up all sorts of things that might happen any day: the United Nations would declare martial law in the US, seize all Americans’ guns, and round up white Christians into internment camps—or FEMA would use its emergency powers to declare martial law, seize all Americans’ guns, and round up white Christians into internment camps—or Janet Reno would declare martial law, seize all the guns, and… well, you know. Like a paranoid broken record, the scenario was always the same.
Then, in an unpredictable twist, none of that happened. A militia member did blow up a building filled with innocent office workers and children though. Instead of being inspired by the sight of dismembered children and rising up heroically against the tyranny of the federal government, people were horrified. It was a head scratcher, really. The militias had been preaching for years that if a heroic, patriotic American would simply stand up to the Feds, it would trigger a revolution.
In 2000 a Republican was (sort of) elected president and thus there was nothing left to worry about anymore, so all the militias disbanded. The threat of tyranny now over, everyone hung up their cammo and went home.
Then a black guy was elected president. Bananas, I know. More shockingly, he was a Democrat, and so the threat of tyranny had returned! No doubt he would be up to Clinton’s old tricks and soon have FEMA use its emergency powers to declare martial law, seize all Americans’ guns, and round up white Christians into internment camps where they would be killed. And, because FEMA’s directors are obsessive compulsive, each dead white male would be placed in an individual plastic “FEMA coffin,” rather than jumbled together in a mass grave that could never be feng shui-ed properly.
Then again, this FEMA plot is 20 years old. If they haven’t done it yet, maybe they’ll never get around to it. What are they waiting for anyway? Carpe diem FEMA! If I were Obama, I’d have my doubts about FEMA’s competence. A better plan would be to train thousands of inner city black kids to be in a secret Obama army, then have them lay low as AmeriCorp soup kitchen workers and pre-school volunteers until the time was right — then Obama would declare martial law, his private black army would seize all guns from white Christian Americans, round them up, and put them in internment camps….
You and I, Mr. Card, are on the same page. In your column, you wrote:
Obama is, by character and preference, a dictator. He hates the very idea of compromise; he demonizes his critics and despises even his own toadies in the liberal press. He circumvented Congress as soon as he got into office by appointing 'czars' who didn't need Senate approval. His own party hasn't passed a budget ever in the Senate.
In other words, Obama already acts as if the Constitution were just for show. Like Augustus, he pretends to govern within its framework, but in fact he treats it with contempt.
How far might he take his dictatorial disposition? Is there any plausible way for him to remain as president for life, like the dictators he so admires and envies in Russia, China, and the Muslim world?
And how will President Obama pull this off?
Obama will claim we need a national police force in order to fight terrorism and crime. The Boston bombing is a useful start, especially when combined with random shootings by crazy people.
Where will he get his ‘national police’? The NaPo will be recruited from ‘young out-of-work urban men’ and it will be hailed as a cure for the economic malaise of the inner cities.
In other words, Obama will put a thin veneer of training and military structure on urban gangs, and send them out to channel their violence against Obama's enemies.
Instead of doing drive-by shootings in their own neighborhoods, these young thugs will do beatings and murders of people ‘trying to escape’ — people who all seem to be leaders and members of groups that oppose Obama.
Mr. Card, don’t beat around the bush with “young thugs” and “gangs” and “urban men.” Just say it: black people. Obama is going to raise an army of black guys to kill white people. Everyone in the Alex Jones / Glenn Beck braintrust knows this—so just say it. You are no different than white racist South Africans who are convinced blacks are sharpening their knives, waiting for their chance to slaughter white people. Admit it.
Let’s throw off the façades and pretenses Mr. Card, all of them. For example, you don’t believe in democracy. In 2008, you wrote an essay for the Mormon Times where you characterized leaders of our constitutional, democratic government as “dictators” and argued that if they allowed gays and lesbians to marry, it would be justification for insurrection and overthrow of the democracy:
How long before married people answer the dictators thus: Regardless of law, marriage has only one definition, and any government that attempts to change it is my mortal enemy. I will act to destroy that government and bring it down, so it can be replaced with a government that will respect and support marriage, and help me raise my children in a society where they will expect to marry in their turn.
You said, “destroy that government” rather than “take up arms against that government” but we knew what you meant. You believe it is okay for a minority of people to rule the country by force. Cut the pretense and sneaking around—you’re part of the militia movement Mr. Card.
At the end of your “Unlikely Events” column you add this caveat:
It sure sounds plausible, doesn't it? Because, like a good fiction writer, I made sure this scenario fit the facts we already have….
No Mr. Card, you're not a good fiction writer. And your scenario does not fit any facts. Instead, it’s a simply a retread of the white racist militia movement’s favorite narratives from the past twenty years. And that is perhaps the most disappointing thing to me personally, as a fan of Ender’s Game and its sequels. You used to be a good writer and now you’re rehashing tired conspiracies and not really trying. I used to think that you were one of sci-fi’s greats, like Asimov and Clarke, but really you don’t even belong with sci-fi’s embarrassing right-wingers like Heinlein, Niven, and Pournelle. At least they could write! No, your literary kin are the members of forums at stormfront.org and William Luther Pierce. Maybe your next project should be a spin-off of The Turner Diaries. You already have plenty of material.